Weekly Reflection on Raymond Carver's "Cathedral"

My first impression of the narrator in Raymond Carver's "Cathedral" was pure ignorance. Not only was the narrator ignorant when it came to his perception of a blind man, but he was also extremely sarcastic when describing his perceptions. Ultimately, the narrator and the blind man, Robert, became friends in the end and the narrator's opinion of the blind man drastically changed.

"Beulah! That's a name for a colored woman." (Page 111)

• This line from the short story not only ties in to his ignorance but also helps the reader distinguish when this story was written. Obviously there was still racial discrimination going on throughout society and the narrator bluntly gives away his views. It is also extremely ignorant of the narrator to comment on the color of the blind man's wife, because it is very clear he could not have seen the color of his wife whether it would have mattered to him or not.
• After the narrator said this about the blind man's wife it made me think about relationships the blind have with others in society. I never really thought about how important or relatively unimportant looks were in relationships among the blind and how we, society, make our looks and appearance extremely important in everyday life.

"But I heard nothing of the sort. More talk of Robert. Robert had done a little of everything, it seemed, a regular blind jack-of-all-trades." (Page 115)

• I feel as if the narrator was not only ignorant but also jealous. In the opening of the short story, the narrator expresses to his wife that he feels uncomfortable with the blind man, Robert, coming to visit because of the close friendship that his wife and Robert had, in the past, when she worked for him. Then as soon as Robert arrives they all sit down to catch up, however, it is more like the narrator's wife and Robert are catching up and the narrator is jealous of their interaction. The narrator is not giving himself a chance to get to know Robert, instead, he is sticking with his ignorant perception and is not going to change the way he feels.
• This situation is very much relate-able to real life situations. Although many of us do not want to admit that we have negative perceptions of different types of people, whether it has to do with religious values, sexuality, race, personality traits, etc. most of us will have some sort of perception on some type of person some time in our life. This short story helps us realize that we just have to be open to meeting different types of people and to not "judge a book by its cover".

 "My eyes were still closed. It was in my house. I knew that. But I didn't  feel like I was inside anything." (Page 124)

• Finally, after all of the crude and sarcastic comments, and judgmental and ignorant perceptions, the narrator got a glimpse of what Robert feels. This line from the short story is so powerful because it not only represents what the narrator has overcome but it opens up the reader to feel what Robert feels on a daily basis. It took a lot of time and frustration for the narrator to describe verbally to Robert what a cathedral looked like, but then Robert saved the narrator a lot of time by showing the narrator how he truly understands things without seeing them, by drawing them. 
• This line is not only powerful in the context of the story but also in the entire perception of society. If we all took time to show someone the way we think and go about our days, everyone would understand each other and have a little bit more patience and understanding.

Weekly Reflection of an Overview of Pynchon's "The Crying of Lot 49" and Chapter 6

Well, so far "The Crying of Lot 49" has gone in a totally different direction then I imagined it to when first reading Chapters 1-2. Ironically, the story has not really focused on what Oedipa plans to do with Pierce's estate, since she is the executor. Instead, the story has become some sort of a mystery with Oedipa playing detective. After Oedipa discovers a secretive mail system, she wants to know more about the system, how to get involved, and why it relates back to Pierce. Finally, Oedipa follows one of the mail carriers and discovers how the mail system works also while noticing different clues such as WASTE and DEATH and the muted horn and the deaf dancers.

When reflecting back on all of the Chapters (1-5), thus far, there is a lot of information to sort through. The main points that have stood out to me are obviously how the death of Pierce affected not only Oedipa but the entire community, the alcohol and drug abuse by most of the characters, the muted horn and its correlation to the secret mail system, and the masculine dominance in Oedipa's life. There are probably many other points, but like I said, there is a lot of information to sort through that has built on itself throughout the entire story. 

Right at the beginning of Chapter 6, Oedipa runs into the same band "The Paranoids" at the hotel where she finds out Metzger has ran away with the Serge's ex-girlfriend, "Why did they run around, why did she put me down," (Page 147). Serge has written a song and sings it to Oedipa to elaborate on the situation and express his feelings. In the line, "...they are stripping away, one by one, my men." (Page 152-153) Oedipa obviously is upset by Metzger's actions and feels as if they are all leaving her. First Pierce passed away leaving her everything, second Mucho has started abusing drugs and has "checked out", and finally Metzger has ran away to marry somebody else. Perhaps Oedipa's actions of adultery are finally catching up to her. Personally, I do not think that Oedipa can be upset about Metzger running away because she basically did the same thing to her husband, even before he started abusing drugs.

Oedpia then goes to meet with Emory Bortz to talk more about the secret mail system and where it rooted from. When Bortz goes into the history of the "Trystero" he dates back to many many years ago, "Robert Scurvham had founded, during the reign of Charles I, a sect of most pure Puritans." This not only highlights the accountability of the secret mail system but also the fact it was based off of religious values by the Puritans. Ironic to me, is that some of the acronyms for the mail system are DEATH and WASTE, which clearly are negatively connotative words. Also, after realizing that the Trystero dates back to many, many years ago it is evident that Pierce was not responsible for this secret mail system, just possibly kept it alive within his investments.

After speaking with Bortz, Oedipa goes back to The Scope and runs into Mike Fallopian, who has a much different look. Fallopian invited Oedipa to sit with him and discuss the discoveries she has made, but then adds a twist. '"Has it ever occured to you, Oedipa, that somebody's putting you on? That this is all a hoax, maybe something Inverarity set up before he died?"' (Page 167) Basically making everything questionable that Oedipa has discovered and I, the reader, have tried to discover myself about the entire context of the story. Soon after Oedipa was questioned and perhaps doubted in her discoveries, she finds out that Pierce has relations to most, if not all, of the connections Oedipa has made to the Trystero. She then starts to doubt herself, and believe that maybe Fallopian was right and Pierce set this entire thing up to: "Or loyal, for free, for fun, to some grandiose practical joke he'd cooked up, all for her embarrassment, or terrorizing, or moral improvement?"

I feel that if Pierce really did set this entire system up to "embarrass or terrorize" Oedipa there would not be as many historical references that relate back to the beginning of the Trystero. Then again, if Pierce had as much control over his area that it seems by the amount of money and investments he has, he could have possibly pulled a "joke" like this off. When thinking about the fact that Oedipa put all of her time into discovering what the secret mail system was all about it makes me think of real life situations. Specifically in my major, Mechanical Engineering, people may put so much time into one design approach or project that they truly believe it is the most functional, innovative idea. Then, they find out that the project has already been thought of or their project is not as functional or innovative as they thought and someone can come up with something better. However, like in engineering, Oedipa may have opened up an entire "can of worms" or "idea" coming from an engineering prospective that could lead to many other discoveries. If Pierce really did in fact make this entire Trystero up, he may be hiding something, that Oedipa may discover easier because she now knows the way Pierce thinks.

Weekly Reflection on Chapter 2 in Pynchon's "The Crying of Lot 49"

• enigmatic: resembling an enigma; perplexing; mysterious

• plinth: 1. a slablike member beneath the base of a column or pier 2. a square base or a lower block, as of a pedestal

Page 24: "But if there was any vital difference between it and the rest of Southern California, it was invisible on first glance."

This quote struck me by surprise because as Oedipa arrives in the city that Pierce had a lot of money invested in the narrator describes the city is "invisible". Originally I believed that Pierce invested in big corporations in popular, populated cities but instead the way Oedipa makes it seem at first is that the city really is not much of anything to brag about. 

• centrifugal: 1. moving or directed outward from the center

• Yoyodyne is a fictional defense contractor. Described in the latter book as "a giant oft he aerospace industry", founded by World War II veteran Clayton "Bloody" Chiclitz. The company has a large manufacturing plant in the fictional town of San Narciso, California.

Page 26: "Barbed wire again gave way to the familiar parade of more beige, prefab, cinderblock office machine distributors, sealant makers, bottled gas works, fastener factories, warehouses, and whatever."

Again, this quote also struck me by surprise because you imagine these buildings surrounding Pierce's investments would be tall, elaborate, well-designed buildings but instead she describes cinderblock offices surrounded by barbed wire. This puts a poor image in the my, the reader's, mind imagining a poorly built and maintained city. Or perhaps this describes a little bit of how Oedipa's personality is portrayed, high-class and judgmental.

• nymph: 1. any of the minor divinities of nature in classical mythology represented as beautiful maidens dwelling in the mountains, forests, trees, and waters 2. girl

• lambent: 2. softly bright or radiant 3. marked by lightness or brilliance especially of expression

• kasher: ("fit," or "proper"), in Judaism, the fitness of an object for ritual purposes.

• zither: a musical instrument, consisting of a flat sounding box with numerous strings stretched over it, that is placed on a horizontal surface and played with a plectrum and the fingertips.

• ringleted: 1. a curled lock of hair 2. a small ring or circle

Page 35: "She wondered then if this were really happening in the same way as, say, her first time in bed with Pierce, the dead man."

This quote definitely suggests Oedipa's promiscuous habits. Although I have read the entire chapter before reflecting on this quote, this is definitely a foreshadowing of the events to come. It also makes me wonder if Oedipa had relations with Pierce before or after her marriage to Macho, her current husband. This chapter reflects Oedipa's true personality: high-class, judgmental, promiscuous, etc.

Page 41: "So it went: the succession of film fragments on the tube, the progressive removal of clothing that seemed to bring her no nearer nudity, the boozing, the tireless shivaree of voices and guitars from out by the pool."

Again not only her promiscuity is recognized but also her drinking habits. In Chapter 1, the theme of alcohol and drunkenness was introduced. Now, in Chapter 2, Oedipa is drinking again and it is now leading her to do much worse things than leave a Tupperware party. 

• crescendo: 1. music 2. a steady increase in force or intensity 3. the climatic point or moment in such an increase; peak

Page 43: '"What did Inveratiry tell you about me," she asked finally. "That You wouldn't be easy." She began to cry."'

This final page of Chapter 2 sums up everything. Metzger tells Oedipa that Pierce said she would not be easy, when obviously Pierce was wrong because Oedipa slept with Metzger the first night they met. Perhaps Metzger took what Pierce told him as a challenge and got Oedipa to drink so that he could say he slept with her on the first night. Oedipa's guilt is recognized when the narrator says she began to cry. Now Oedipa has to not only deal with Pierce's estate and will, but also the awkwardness between her and Metzger and having the guilty conscious that she cheated on her husband. 

Ultimately, Chapter 2 leads me to believe that "The Crying of Lot 49" is not going to be all about handling Pierce's estate and will, but also the drama that Oedipa has in her life and how she handles it. Perhaps Metzger slept with Oedipa so that he received more power and input on how to disperse Pierce's estate and will and to receive more control over Oedipa's decisions. Oedipa's decision to sleep with Metzger can either help or hurt her and I suppose the next few chapters will reveal whether it truly did. The drama in Chapter 2 has definitely caught my interest and I am now excited to read more and find out what happens in the chapters to come.

Collaborated Weekly Reflection on Various Works of Allen Ginsberg

Although I have already completed a blog for the week, I have decided to reflect on some of the assigned readings we are expected to discuss in class on Friday, since I will not be able to attend.

A SUPERMARKET IN CALIFORNIA

 "What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt Whitman..." (Page 29)

The definition of Walt Whitman from www.dictionary.com is as follows:

• noun United Sates poet who celebrated the greatness of America

However, when looking up Walt Whitman on a website, such as Wikipedia, it mentions that "Whitman's sexuality is often discussed alongside his poetry. Though biographers continue to debate his sexuality, he is usually described as either homosexual or bisexual in his feelings and attractions." Which makes the short story poem "A Supermarket in California" make a lot more sense to me, even though I may not agree with the context in which his name is used. When reading it through the first time, I wondered who Whitman was and why the narrator made such ignorant remarks towards him, but then after looking up the definition it was clear that Whitman's sexuality made the narrator uncomfortable.

• enumerations: 1. to mention separately as if in counting; name one by one; specify, as in a list

• penumbras: 2. a shadowy, indefinite, or marginal area

"-and you, Garcia Lorca, what were you doing down by the watermelons?" (Page 29)

Clearly, the narrator is uncomfortable with both of the men's sexualities that he mentions throughout the short story poem.  He seems very curious as to what Whitman is doing throughout the "grocery store" or perhaps referencing Whitman's life and what he is doing with that. The one thing I noticed throughout the entire short story poem is that the narrator used a lot of detail and imagery to allow the reader to imagine where the actual setting took place. Those minor details made the story appeal to me and kept me reading. The narrator also stated a lot of, obviously, rhetorical questions. The rhetorical questions also kept me reading because I wanted to see if the narrator answered his own rhetorical questions by stating what Whitman would do next.

A theme I have noticed throughout Ginsberg's short story poems thus far is that he references America and religion many times throughout his works. In "A Supermarket in California" he mentions Angels and America twice and in "Howl" he mentions Heaven and politics and America many times.

AMERICA

Before I even began to read America, I noticed the same theme that I mentioned in my last reflection: America. Except in this short story poem I finally realized the narrator's take on America: that it is awful. The narrator has absolutely nothing positive to say, which also reflects the date mentioned in the second line, January 17, 1956, recognizing the harsh times that the narrator had to live through during this time period. It then becomes extremely obvious as to why the narrator does not agree with any of the ways of America in the line, "America I used to be a communist when I was a kid I'm not sorry." (Page 40) This line is extremely harsh and almost makes me want to tell the narrator to go back to where he came from if he does not like the ways of America!

Another point that the narrator elaborates a lot throughout the short story poem is marijuana. It strikes me by surprise that some things really never change. Marijuana is such a "touchy" subject in America today and clearly was back then because he talks about smoking it almost to get back at the government and their rules and regulations. It seems as if some people love testing out the waters, pushing their limits, and going to the extreme, just to see how far they can really go. This relates back to many subjects in life- most teenagers rebel because their parents try to confine them and keep them away from all the negativity the world has to offer, but in reality most of those teens that deal with confinement in their homes are the ones that want to rebel even more than your average teen.

The narrator also brings politics into this short story poem in the line, "My ambition is to be President despite the fact that I'm a Catholic." (Page 41) Well, times have definitely changed now since we have an African American President in office and a Mormon leading the 2012 Election Campaign. But obviously back then it was not as easy to be elected if you were a specific religion, race, and to this day gender. Although we are a free country and people come here for freedom, there are still so many restrictions so many people live by each day and do not even realize they're living that way. Many people are prejudice and do not realize it because that is all they know and are surrounded by. That is probably why the narrator has such a strong opinion about America and it's judicial system, along with many other things.

Weekly Reflection on Allen Ginsberg's "Howl"

Part I

Throughout the first part of the poem "Howl" it seems as if the narrator is attempting to describe every type of person, in detail, that comes to mind. From my perspective, the narrator has an extremely negative connotation of people but yet shows interest in religion. I noticed that he mentioned all different types of religion, but yet always mentioned Heaven which suggests the narrator was a Christian. It seems as if the narrator was confined to only think a specific way of people and does not feel safe in the environment he is describing. Perhaps he is forcing himself to believe what he is saying about the people is true and he is in such a negative place, not only physically in a negative place but emotionally. "ah, Carl, while you are not safe I am not safe, and now you're really in the total animal soup of time-" (Page 19)

 

"who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing through snow toward lonesome farms in grandfather night," (Page 12)

The quote above has the literary term of repetition. When the narrator repeats 'boxcars' three times in a row he is obviously trying to emphasize it. Perhaps he is repeating it because right before he mentions lighting a cigarette and from my understanding boxcars are made out of cardboard which is highly flammable. Also, another literary element evidently used throughout the entire poem is run-on sentences. To me, run on sentences are used to portray importance, as if the narrator wants to get his point across and do it all in one setting; not giving anybody else time for a response.

• pederasty (noun): sexual relations between two males, especially when one of them is a minor

• seraphim (noun, plural of seraph): 2. a member of the highest order of angels, often represented as a child's head with wings above, below, and on each side

• insatiate (adjective): insatiable: insatiate greed

"with mother finally ******, and the last fantastic book flung out of the tenement window..." (Page 19)

It may seem obvious to others as to why Ginsberg put asterisks in for a word in the quote above pertaining to something about the narrator's mother, but I cannot seem to think what sort of possible fowl word could fill in that blank. Surprisingly to me, the author uses extremely fowl language in previous lines and I am not quite sure as to why the author felt it was necessary to blank out a word using asterisks. Obviously he is speaking of his mother in negative context and perhaps did not want to use a fowl word in the same sentence that he refers to his mother in.

Part II

 In the second part of the poem, the narrator repeats 'Moloch' in every line.

• Moloch (noun): 1. a deity whose worship was marked by the propitiatory sacrifice of children by their own parents. II Kings 23:10; Jer. 32:35

Clearly Moloch was not a "caring" figure in society and was seen in a negative context. All throughout the second part the narrator badgers the government, including its army, along with the technological advances, including the radio, mentioned in the line, "They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pavements, trees, radios, tons!" (Page 22). It seems obvious that the narrator is doubting the advances in his time and uses Moloch to exemplify his doubts. I also wonder if the narrator makes it seem as if he is bashing Moloch but in reality he is admiring his independence and ability to make very prominent decisions in society, which the narrator cannot make and clearly does not agree with the decisions society has made for him.


Part III

Finally, in the third part of the poem the narrator directly recognizes the person to whom he has dedicated this entire work to, Carl Solomon. It seems as if the narrator is recognizing all of the troubles the two have faced together. Taking place in Rockland, which is repeated in every line, using the literary term of repetition once again throughout the final part of the poem. 

Clearly the two were perhaps in a prison, of some sort, together. Maybe not so much a prison because of the freedom the two had, that one would not have while in prison, but maybe an insane asylum or somewhere treating psychiatric illness. This is obvious to me, the reader, because of the line, "I'm with you in Rockland where you've murdered our twelve secretaries." (Page 24). Nobody would admit to someone they've committed murder, so the fact that the narrator is aware of the situation suggests the two are in some sort of isolation together. 

The third and final part shows why the tone of the previous parts is full of remorse and negativity. The narrator obviously struggled with a lot of doubt and wrote this poem in memory of his friend, or inmate, Carl Solomon to recognize their struggles they once had together.

Third Reflection of the Week on Baldwin's "Sonny's Blues"

After reading through "Sonny's Blues" for the first time I was extremely confused at what was in the present and what was in the past. To me the story seemed to be set up at a group of letters, some in the present and some in the past. However, after doing research on Baldwin and the story itself, before reading "Sonny's Blues" for the second time, I realized it was a mixture of the narrator having flash backs as well as his present. 

When I recognized the way the story was set up it made more sense to me the second time I read it and made me think of the relationship I have with my half-sister. Although the relationship I have with my half-sister is not nearly the same as the relationship the two brothers have in the story, I can relate. Growing up, my half-sister and I were 10 years apart. She came from our mom's first marriage but was raised by my dad. Being so young when she was a teenager I never understood some of the choices she made, why she dressed the way she did, or why she talked to my mom the way she did. But then as I got older I realized my sister was going through a typical teenage rebellion stage. My half-sister struggled with a lot of different things in her life and I never understood why she couldn't just change her ways. Then I realized, we were raised differently, her dad was not like my dad and although she only saw him on the weekends he had a huge impact on her life. 

In "Sonny's Blues" the two brothers are two totally different people, when it comes to personality and determination. It is evident that Sonny struggled with addiction problems and perhaps, like my half-sister, was raised differently than his brother, the narrator. The narrator mentions that Sonny and their father fought and that the mother left for the military and never came back, perhaps this affected Sonny more than it affected the narrator. Sonny, like my half-sister, went through a rebellious stage while the narrator sat back and watched his brother ruin his life. Of course tragedy brought them together, similar to me and my half-sister. It did not take a death to bring me and my half-sister together but it took a birth, the birth of her son. When my half-sister gave birth to her son, her entire life changed. I now look up to her and console in her for advice, unlike before I did not want to speak to her because of the decisions she made. Similar to Sonny and his brother, it took finding out that their mother had passed away to bring them together at the funeral and led the narrator to want to help his brother chase his dreams, of music.

Second Reflection of the Week on Jamaica Kincaid's "Girl"

While reading "Girl" by Jamaica Kincaid I took a few short hand notes on the lines that stuck out to me:

• "...benna in Sunday school...": This phrase showed up a lot throughout the entire short story. At first I thought "benna" was slang for the word "better" but then the use of benna in some of the other lines shows that benna may have been a type of song or way to sing.
• "...the slut I know you are so bent on becoming...": This phrase also shows up a lot throughout the entire short story. The narrator seems very strong on his/her thoughts and opinions and clearly has some hatred or remorse towards whomever he/she is referring to.
• "this is how to make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child;": This phrase stood out to me solely because of how hateful it is, and to think that someone would even think to say that strikes me by surprise. 

After reflecting on the lines that stood out to me I did a little bit of research on the author, Jamaica Kincaid, and on the short story. I discovered that Kincaid and her mother did not have a very positive relationship and this short story relates back to the relationship that they had. As soon as I discovered that the author and her mother did not have a positive, healthy relationship I read the short story over again to discover that "Girl" is a mother talking to her female child, only letting the child speak twice: "but I don't sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school" and "but what if the baker won't let me feel the bread?".

Reflecting on "Girl" and how negative and unhealthy the relationship between the daughter and mother is in the story, makes me appreciate the positive, strong, healthy relationship I share with my mother. Growing up, my mother taught me all of the right things to do in life, learning by experience and mistakes. It seems as if the mother that the narrator describes is telling, not teaching, her daughter how to do things and puts her down by referring to her as a "slut". Obviously, the mother in the story did not have a good childhood and it is now reflecting on to her parenting and relationship with her daughter. Personally, my mother comes from a strong christian, successful family and that definitely reflects the way that she has raised me. I am so fortunate to know that I have a positive influence on my life and do not have to worry about my mother putting me down like the girl in this story must worry about on a daily basis. Everyone makes mistakes and my mother knows that, but it seems as if the mother in "Girl" does not live by that motto and does not want her daughter to make mistakes and wants her to live by strict rules. Overall, this short story made me realize how lucky I am to have a strong, intelligent, thoughtful, and caring mother that understands the situations I go through and guides me in all of the right directions.